Is lust a wedge in your marriage—pushing you apart?
Does a rebuke along this line—“Quit looking at that girl (or image)!”—sound familiar?
If so, how do you answer?
- I am not doing anything wrong. (denial)
- Looking is OK, I only love you and am faithful to you. (rationalization)
- Look at the way she dresses. She could turn around any guy’s head. (rationalization)
- I don’t look at porn. I am better than most guys. (rationalization)
Unfortunately, if you are a Christian, the rationalizations above do not carry water. They simply do not line up with the standard Jesus laid down. According to Him, when we look with the intent to lust, we are committing adultery in our hearts. We are sinning (Matthew 5:28).
When this sin settles into a marriage, it has a poisonous effect. You, like some, may argue that it is not a problem. However, despite all your rationalizations, you are still sinning. Your Father in heaven is not pleased. Your sinful wandering eye will result in the three things that continuing in sin always brings:
- You will feel guilt. Sin will take away your joy (Psalm 32:1-4).
- You will experience death in your life. The wages of sin are death (Romans 6:23). Maybe it will be your spiritual walk, your marriage or your testimony. Be assured, something will die.
- You will become a slave to your sin. Whoever continues in sin becomes a slave to sin (John 8:34).
The only solution to sin is to be cleansed from it and to turn from it. You need to acknowledge that you have sinned, ask for forgiveness and repent in such a way that you stop lusting in your heart and remove this sinful habit. When you do this, you will be cleansed from unrighteousness and freed to walk in the light (1 John 1).
This may be a new concept for you. You may feel that the lust you allow in your life is an automatic response to some outside stimulus—that you have no control over this—it is not your fault.
If this is the way you rationalize your sin, I have news for you: You can deny lust. In the same way you refuse to obtain illicit sexual gratification when you look at your sister or your daughter, you can do the same with every other temptation. Overcoming lust if it has been a life dominating sin in your life will not be easy, but this result is required of you and will result in a closer walk with God.
When you give up lust and begin to please God in the way you live, this may or may not make your wife happy. However, your life in Christ will start to mature. You will be set free from your sin—freed to begin pleasing God in exactly the way He has designed for you.
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